Finally, the proof that perpetual disappointment is possible!
Our reporter Masanuki Sunakoma has purchased a lot of low-rated items on Amazon, and despite their often-justified bad reviews, he could normally find them on the bright side. Whether it’s a kitsch appeal like Santa’s toilet blanket or a sexy torso pillow, or potential for other uses like reselling little hats or training our patience on floating speakers, he has always managed to find the good side of these original products.
But some things don’t have a bright side…
Deep in the darkest corners of Amazon Japan lie products so vile, so worthless that even the world’s most powerful optimists can’t detect a redeeming quality. One of these products is the Physics Pendulum Perpetual Motion Toy Pendulum Ball Impact Ball Metal Stainless Steel Newton Stress Relief Indoor Desktop Type Physics Educational Craft [Rolls down from the top and returns to the top].
You may have spotted in this word salad of a name, that this product claims to have harnessed the elusive concept of perpetual motion in a stress relief toy that fits on top of your desk. It all sounded too good to be true, so Masanuki ignored the unanimous one-star customer ratings and paid. 2,155 yen (15 USD) for one.
A little later, an unmarked cardboard box arrived at our reporter’s door.
There were no instructions or documentation of any kind inside, just a bunch of junk.
We don’t mean that in an “oh, this smartphone is a piece of junk” way. It was literal junk in the sense of scrap pieces of rusted and scratched metal.
Since there were no instructions, Masanuki had to rely on pictures from the Amazon page to put it together.
This was made more difficult by the fact that there were an inordinate number of tiny nuts to fasten the parts together. It looks like they gave him some extra bonus ones, but since Masanuki wasn’t sure, they really only served to confuse him during assembly.
In the end, he had something that looked like the product in the pictures and a whole bunch of little nuts to spare. This toy works by dropping the balls into the hole in the black board. They then descend along the rails, which wind upwards and inwards like a large breaking wave. The rails are shaped so that the balls launch directly into the black board and start the process all over again and for eternity.
Sounds easy enough, but such a feat would also seem to require precision design and this item didn’t exactly scream “precision”. It may have had a lot to do with the Rusty Spheres that looked like a set of corrupted Dragon Balls.
Nevertheless, Masanuki decided to see what this thing could do and shoved a ball into the hole.
He descended with promising speed and trajectory…
▼ Masanuki: “Oh.”
Only to stop dead at the bottom.
▼ Masanuki: “…”
He wasn’t even close to performing the deft manipulation of physics he promised.
However, without any instruction, Masanuki couldn’t rule out the possibility that he had done something wrong. Maybe if he dropped a second ball, the kinetic energy of the collision would send the first ball all the way…
▼ Masanuki: “…”
It would seem that the layers of rust and patina absorb a lot of the shock and also add friction to the path of the bullets. But maybe a third ball would help shake things up…
▼ Masanuki: “…”
It still didn’t work, but the first ball got the dad moving a bit this time. Maybe a fourth ball would be enough to put him over…
▼ Masanuki: “Oh come on!”
For some reason the fourth ball didn’t even stay on the rails and just flew off the floor with a loud disappointing noise. This toy wasn’t really as good at relieving stress as he was at creating it, and Masanuki picked up his rotting Dragon Ball off the floor and threw it in a nearby trash can.
In a vain last attempt to make this thing work, he tried a few more times and it looked like the ball would fly about 30% of the time. So even if he had the chance to pull a loop out of it, perpetual motion was completely out of the question.
He then returned to the Amazon reviews he had previously overlooked. “Trash”, “F*&% Trash”, “I wish I had read the reviews before buying” and “This year’s ‘#1 Don’t Buy’ item” pretty much have it all. said. We usually like to end these articles with “If you like to go for a swim in the office or wear Halloween masks in November, then check it out”, but not this time.
There is absolutely no reason for anyone to buy this thing. It’s soulless.
Related: Amazon Japan / Physics Pendulum Perpetual Motion Toy Pendulum Ball Impact Ball Metal Stainless Steel Newton Stress Relief Indoor Office Type Physics Educational Craft [Rolls down from the top and returns to the top]
● Want to be up to date with the latest articles from SoraNews24 as soon as they are published? Follow us on Facebook and Twitter!
[ Read in Japanese ]